Keep This Under Your Cap

I have never liked to swim.  I know how to swim.  I just prefer not to.  Over the years, many have asked me why I never go in the water.  I think I have finally figured out the reason.  I used to think it was simply that I don't like to get wet.  As I have gotten older and look back on this,  I think the real reason stems from my childhood.  (No, this is not a therapy session.)  The culprit was the bathing cap!
 It was mandatory that all females wear bathing caps while swimming.  Blame it on the pool filter.  That's what the lifeguards always did.  (I think there was a very powerful lobbying group of bathing cap manufacturers behind it, but I love a good conspiracy theory.)

 I absolutely hated wearing a bathing cap!  My daughters and a whole generation of girls  have  never  experienced the  torture of stretching a square inch of latex over their entire heads, trying to keep the cap in place while  tucking  in every stray hair. Some days  I spent more time putting on my cap than the time I actually spent in the pool.  If your hair was longer than a quarter inch , you might as well give up and hang out at the pool snack bar.  (Which is what I did until my father saw our snack bar bill at the end of the month and he banned me from stepping foot near the place.)
Of course, if the day were hot enough, and I mean heat stroke was imminent,  the dreaded cap had to go on.  Once in place,  you had seconds to run and dive in the water hopefully before anyone saw you.  The bald head is not a good look for anyone,  especially a prepubescent girl!
I have a large head and  had very long thick hair!  A deadly combination when faced with a cap the size of a brussel sprout.
Oh,  the makers of these torture devices tried to make them attractive by adding color and designs (usually petals…as if  a flower on top of a stem wearing a bathing suit was a good look.)  After a time, even they gave up and the decorative bathing cap passed into urban legend.

Notice that none of these girls are smiling.  Warning: If you ever  see anyone
smiling while wearing a bathing cap,  it is because the rubber is pulling
their faces back.  Remove immediately before face freezes that way!

Even fashion models should not wear bathing caps!

This was a blatant example of breaking the rules.
No hair was allowed out from under the cap!

                                                    Oh, the times we lived through.